i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
