my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
