literally had 100 drinks last night.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
