So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
