Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.

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(705): View more from Ontario

My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.

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(818): View more from California

I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.

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(518): View more from New York

Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.

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(909): View more from California

I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.

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