My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Boobs speak an international language.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize