what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
