Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I need water and some morals
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
