Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
