btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
