Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
