No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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