OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
