I'm really into asian looking animals
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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