Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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