I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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