I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
