Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Damn victory sex feels great
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