I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
