Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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