she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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