ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
