running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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