Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
