I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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