She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
