who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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