Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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