I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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