been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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