so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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