plz talk dirty to me
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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