No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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