I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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