I want to stick my p in your. b.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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