you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
