We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
