my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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