the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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