Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
