what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize