You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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