so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
