I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
