is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
