this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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