Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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