if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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