Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
