I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
