if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
