What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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