Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
