my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
