How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
