Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
