We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
