apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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