my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
