I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
